No to the man who has a woman at home, but still tries to have you.
No to the man who doesn’t call when he says he will.
No to the man who refuses to figure out what he can contribute to the world.
No to the man who has unresolved anger toward his mom or ex.
No to the man who is hard to locate.
No to the man who is shady in his business dealings.
No to the man who starves you with very little communication or time together to keep you wanting him.
No to the man who is ambivalent about you after 3 months of dating. Or 3 years of living together.
No to the man who gets drunk and becomes a possessive asshole.
No to the man whose security comes from you wanting him.
No to the man who your gay friends would label ‘not good enough for you.’
No to the man who will put up with your bullshit without an apology from you.
No to the man who, on the first date, discusses how ‘skilled’ he is with his tongue.
No to the man who calls your emotions ‘drama.’
No to the man who habitually escapes life with video games, pot, porn,
or self-help books.
No to the man who is any less a man than you’ve had before.
Yes to the man who says no to you, because he would be breaking promises elsewhere.
Yes to the man who keeps figuring out what he wants.
Yes to the man who manages his appetites 90 percent of the time.
Yes to the man who wants to protect you.
Yes to the man who can break all the rules when the occasion calls for it.
Yes to the man who tries to communicate with God.
Yes to the man who goes on with his own life while he’s waiting for you.
Yes to the man who really tries to see it from your point of view no matter how much sense you’re not making.
Yes to the man who wants to provide for you.
Yes to the man who takes note of your favorite things and gives them to you.
Yes to the man who does something because he said he would, even if he is now bored with it.
Yes to the man who works his ass off every day.
Yes to the man who asks you what you need.
Yes to the man who wants to be your best friend.
Yes to the man whose own self-respect is the top of his priority list.
Yes to the man who is skilled at having difficult conversations and doesn’t fight back with blaming, silence, yelling, or amnesia.
Yes to the man who lets you lavish your love on him and helps you bloom as a woman in the process.
Yes to the man who knows his worth, his liquor limit, his day rate, and his sell point.
Go find the man who you can say yes to …. and say YES.
Yes! I wrote one for the men: Hell Yes | Hell No { for the gentlemen }
There are other beautiful people saying YES with a free subscription to The Weekly Note Card. Wanna join them? SIGN UP HERE.
Comments
Shannon Drake
Tre timely for me, my man has all the yeses but can be a little frustrating with his fear of “losing his individuality” I try to be understanding. Being an adult is hard
Tom
Excellent! I like most of it = )
There are 2 points I “partially disagree with”…
First, “Yes to the man who works his ass off every day.”
There is need of balance, a classic saying in response…
“All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy”
I’d say it depends on what you mean by “work”, if you mean does his best at what there is to do that day, then I agree, but if you mean gives his soul to the crazy system this culture thinks is economics, then no.
The other statement I find difficult to fully embrace is:
“No to the man who has a woman at home, but still tries to have you.”
… assumptions and definitions could make it true or crazy, depending… One key is in cultural assumptions and your use of the word “having”.
I see nothing wrong with men AND/OR women loving each other…
OR more than one other.
I see a LOT wrong with possessing instead of loving…
Possessing leads to all the insanity involved in ownership, the fears of loss, the manipulation to make sure of possession, and similar crazy-making activities… like attempting to have a secret fling instead of an open honest agreed-on-by-EVERYONE-involved relationship that might include only 2 people total… or more.
In other words, if he can’t bring you home, then there is something wrong…
Samira
Brilliant list- practical, straight to the point – a great reminder that
we need work at all times to be the person we would like to date.
Thank you for sharing such amazing wisdom and giving us all points
to work on:)
Nicole Moore
I love this! And I love the one you did for the guys too. Such a great list. xo
Steph
Thank you Nicole! I appreciate you saying so. xo
Geoff Snyder
“No to the man who will put up with your bullshit without an apology from you.”
The simple fact that you listed this restores hope that there are in fact great women out there.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful post, Stephanie!
Steph
Hi Geoff
Thank you for your kind words!
Kimberly
Is there a list like this for women? I’ve got some work to do to heal my junk before I feel comfy even searching for my Yes Man
Love this post… the “man” I just broke up with at the beginning of the year failed an important 2 “No to the man who handles his business shadily” and “No to the man whose security comes from you wanting him.” I needed this wisdom today 
You ROCK!
Steph
HI Kimberly! There is now one written for the gentlemen -
Hell Yes | Hell No (for the gents)
http://blissbombed.com/hell-yes-hell-no-for-men/
Duff
I failed three of these, but I guess there is always room for improvement. Also since my lady makes 50% more than I do, we don’t have a “man is the provider” structure in our household. Each relationship will obviously have their own YES’s and NO’s.
Steph
Hey Duff – I agree! Every relationship creates the terms of their partnership.
Larissa
Just posted this to Pinterest, repin it if you love it as much as I do: http://pinterest.com/pin/263812490641810718/
Steph
I adore this Larissa! Thank you so much! xo
Anita
Just found your blog thru a friend share on FB …. and loving it ! Sharing lots…. will always credit you …..
Love your journey…I identify.
Good to find you
)
Anita
Steph
Wonderful to meet you too Anita. Thank you for sharing my work. with love, Stephanie xo
ROBERT
This exactly what I teach the men I work with. I love reading it from the feminine point of view. It is now required reading for al my guys, single and married.
Dr. Robert Glover
nomoremrniceguy.com
Steph
Thank you Dr. Glover! I’m incredibly flattered, given that I read your book a year ago, and have passed it one to 3 extraordinary gentlemen that I thought would benefit tremendously from it. I love your stand for men, and I share in it wholeheartedly.
Tanya
This is perfect. (Or, en francais on dit: “parfait”)
Je t’adore.
xo
Steph
Only YOU would know how big I’m smiling right now at that : ))
kyle kochiss
love your list. I want to share it with all the worthy women I know!
Trisha Trixie
1-Read and cried
2-Copying and adding to my blog (giving you credit of course)
3- I don’t have enough money to hire you, but right now you and 5 other life coaches are my Life Coaches by reading your blogs and chanting your mantras, manifestos, affirmations and words.
4-Thank you for listening to whatever divine being who told you to do what you do. Thank you for leaping into your life. I am one of those who you were destined to help heal, move on and deal with life.
5-God Bless
Steph
Trisha! Tears! Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy our paths have crossed. xo
Trisha Trixie
Jeremy Johnson
Great advice and straight to the point. If you did a list of this for men -> women, what do you think it would look like?
I’ve got some work to do from this stand point. Yes’s to add and No’s to get rid of.
murrell
I would love to receive great readings, points, guides, from this site. This is great stuff!!
Tia Sparkles Singh
JUICY!! Love this! And … there’s one coming about women, too, yes?
YES!