“Michael: Don’t knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don’t know anyone who can get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.
Sam: Aw, come on! Nothing’s more important than sex.
Michael: Oh yeah? Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?”
-Jeff Goldblum and Tom Berenger, The Big Chill
I have been writing since I was seven years old. When I was in eighth grade, I wrote my first book with my co-author, Jeannie Pritchette, who was also in the eighth grade. We filled 484 notebook pages with the tale of four teenagers who stole the family RV and ran away to Canada. Surprising for two shy girls who had travelled no further than our own backyards and spent most of our growing up years in the library of our Catholic grade school. To my chagrin, the notebook was lost when Jeannie took it to the beach over summer vacation. The only thing that got me to stop crying was the realization I could write another one.
Fast forward three decades. I have supported myself through all various ways, but have not wanted to risk taking a stab at writing full-time, professionally.
These have been my rationalizations for not writing:
- Writing is a luxury, and won’t pay my light bill.
- I don’t know what to say.
- People will get sick of the constant posts.
- I’m not a fast writer. I labor over everything I write. It’s too hard.
- It makes me feel vulnerable.
- The people who really know me (close friends, family, ex-boyfriends) will be able to contrast my writing with how they experience me and call me a BIG FAT PHONY FRAUD.
They (the people who know what they’re doing) always say not to write about anything that still triggers you, and I am clearly breaking that rule right now. These rationalizations still grab me round the neck and try to silence me.
But something came along to eclipse all of that.
The idea of how phony it is for me not to write.
Do you have a gift you are rationalizing away?
We’re in this together,
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Comments
Natalie
Um, yes. I NEEDED to find this today, as I have been navigating the writing waters myself. I still think all of those thoughts on a daily basis and am daily working to break through the wall of doubts, but I encourage you in your passion!
Know this- just in that one post, I was uplifted and feel like there is someone out there thinking the same things I am.
You have been a blessing today!
Nicole Moliere
Stephanie,
I am at the very same point in my journey as a full time writer. I’ve had – and continue to have – the same fears, the same insecurities, but I jumped off the cliff and dropped down to part time work so that I can write several hours per day. Make no mistake – it’s not easy. I struggle to pay the bills, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been. One of my blogs was recently picked up by a national paper and I’ll be receiving my first ever check as a freelance writer this month. I understand your fear, but I have also read your work here on the site and it’s GOOD. Go for it, Chick.
-N
Steph
I can’t get the words out of my mouth fast enough: CONGRATULATIONS!! And thank you for the encouragement and kind words. I am so excited to be on this path myself. I had a strong intuitive hit two weeks ago to just lay down my fears and submit to this calling
) I’m doin it. And having so much fun. Have you read Steven Pressfield’s Do The Work? It’s seriously amazing. Wishing you all the love and continued success your heart can hold, N. xo
Darleen
Just do it – does it have to be full-time to start? or … if you have some sort of gig that will put your financial worries to rest? Go for it. I am older and wiser and wish I had listened to my non rational self earlier
I also would like to write a book, and lost a notebook of stories. I started writing at age 10. Other things always get in the way. Writing is hard work – but if you have the urge to write, you will write, as it is something that you must do!
Gigi Belmonico
BEAUTIFULLY written my dear Bombshell. Beautiful and inspiring and oh so true and lovely, just like you. As I writer myself I SO get the part about feeling vulnerable in “sharing your song” so to speak. I am so happy you are sharing yours!!XOXO Gigi Belmonico
Steph
Thank you ladies so much! It’s really nice to get “gotten.” xo
WhatThisGirlLearns
Stephanie, I also am a writer and have always talked myself out of it with the rationalizations that I needed to be making steady money, and I hated the vulnerability that comes with feeling like people are reading my diary. I understand your rationalizations but also understand the need to, somehow, keep going and not give this thing up!